Life Achievements

This was in the April issue of Game Informer and I thought it was quite funny so I thought I'd share since it deals with Achievements. April Fools issues are sometimes pretty funny.

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Microsoft to use "Life Achievements"

Reality gets quantified

To Xbox 360 owners, the sound "boop-boop" means a job well done. Those notes accompanying the words "Achievement Unlocked" are a chance for gamers - usually unsuccessful in other areas of life - to feel meaningful. But what if gamers could feel that validation in their bleak, everyday lives? Now they can, thanks to Microsoft's new Life Achievement system.
Still in the testing phase, this new technology includes a device that clips to your belt and monitors your actions, rewarding you with LiferPoints for positive accomplishments. "The world is full of things to do!" shouts Microsoft corporate vice president J. Allard. "We saw this as a golden opportunity to encourage people to do specific things, then award meaningless points that cannot be spent or otherwise redeemed."
Preliminary results show that response to the program is very positive. "By purchasing the Zune, I unlocked the rare 'Already Obsolete' Life Achievement, got 100 LiferPoints, and was entered in a drawing to win Fuzion Frenzy 2!" gushes one test subject. "Totally worth it." The technology will hit retail shelves in November, with the first bug-fix patch (necessary for the system to function) following several months later.

Sample of Microsoft's Life Achievements:

Taste Glue
Draw Marker-Moustache On Passed-Out LAN Party Attendee
Hold It For Two Days
10,000 Kills
Hoffa Found
Mock Nintendork and Stupid Wii
Ride Pony
Vista Installed!
Vista Uninstalled!
Kiss Friend's Wife